this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
