If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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