if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize