belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
