So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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