It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
