Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
