I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
