all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
