He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
