His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
