She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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