a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
