THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
