It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
is it fun? or sober?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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