Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Did I show you my penis last night?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
