U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
