hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
