omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
