I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
