In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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