Your dad touched me again.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
