at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
