I want to walk on stilts...naked
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
