She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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