And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
