fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
