You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
