after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize