Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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