I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
