Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
