I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
