I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
