youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize