drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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