What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
