naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
