I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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