So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
