:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
