Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
