You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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