I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He better not be in your backpack
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
