I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize