Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize