Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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