am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize