I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize