im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
