Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
