Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
