well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
