We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
