just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
