Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
