The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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