Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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