Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
