the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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