I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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